


All That’s Left

by Repeatinglitanies



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don’t copy to another site, F/M, Menstruation, Moral Ambiguity, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:21:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27281119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Repeatinglitanies/pseuds/Repeatinglitanies
Summary: Fiveya Week Day 1 Prompt: MemoriesFive never did get to have photos of her. Fortunately, he had more unconventional mementos to remember her by
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 23
Kudos: 75
Collections: fiveya week (round 2)





	All That’s Left

Reginald Hargreeves never allowed Vanya’s pictures to be taken. When Five was very young (too young to openly challenge the old man on it) and was forced to sleep in a different room from his beloved sister, the only way to get him to comply was to give him something of Vanya’s. That way, he wouldn’t feel so alone.

So when they buried eighteen-year old Vanya six feet underground after a seemingly long and torturous illness, Five felt as if a part of him was going down right there with her. In a way, there was a comfort in that. Vanya hated being alone just as she hated being stuck in small, dark places. And if a part of him was down there with her to keep her company, then that made things a little bit better somehow.

Rationally, Five knew that it was all wishful thinking. His sister, the only family member who ever truly believed in him, the only one who ever truly loved him was dead. And there was nothing he could do to bring her back.

Not for the first time, Five blamed Reginald Hargreeves. The old man didn’t want his orders disobeyed. Not back then. Not now. And not ever.

Sensing that Five would one day decide to time travel without his blessing, the old man preemptively had Allison use her rumour on Five.

All his calculations to solve the mystery of time travel was useless to him now. Allison’s power of compulsion ensured Five would forget his equations as soon as he even thought about attempting to jump through time.

Five had thought that it was the lowest he would go. Instead of doing something, anything, he had stayed in his room and felt sorry for himself. Five did nothing but seethe and think of numerous ways he could do to make Dad suffer. Unfortunately, all of which Five could only see ending in failure because the old man didn’t care about anything other than the Umbrella Academy as an institution. And at thirteen, there was no way to destroy the Academy without negatively impacting Five himself.

And there had been Vanya to think of. His sister hadn’t been born with special abilities. If Reginald Hargreeves were to die, what are the chances that they’d both be appointed the same guardians? What are the chances she could protect herself in case they are separated?

So in the end if it hadn’t been for Vanya, Five probably might have worked himself up to his first murder attempt. Not simply because he had thought of her well-being. But also because she had come into his room, made him sit up from his prone position on the floor, rested her head on his shoulder and held his hand in sympathy.

There was no way he would ever put Vanya in the position of having to stand in his way as he took the first steps to send Dad a one-way trip to oblivion. For one thing, he didn’t want to harm Vanya. For another, he didn’t think he could ever stand seeing her cry.

So he stayed in his room with Vanya and figured out what to do next. 

Vanya didn’t have to say it out loud but he knew what she thought of his predicament. That even without time travel, there were still other things left to explore with his abilities. 

Vanya had always wished she were like Five and their other siblings. And she would have given almost anything to have even a fraction of the power Five had been born with.

He understood that. But with the metaphorical wound of Dad’s punishment still fresh in Five’s mind, he couldn't fully empathise. Losing the ability to time travel was akin to having a wonderful opportunity (such as a university scholarship or an all expenses paid trip to travel the world) taken away. It felt like he would be stuck to the same spot forever.

But leave it to Vanya to lighten his mood. As always, all she had to do was be there for him and let him know that he wasn’t alone. Sometimes, she didn’t even need to be in the same room. 

Five just needed to hear her playing the violin and remember how Vanya was doing her best with what she had. She didn’t let being the “ordinary” sibling stop her from dreaming of the day she would eventually play onstage to a rapt audience.

He admired her for her perseverance and resilience.

Eventually, he got over the loss.

Since the avenue of exploring time was lost to him (temporarily, if Five had anything to say about it), he focused on improving his mastery of spatial jumps. Soon enough, his power grew. He was able to transport both himself and Vanya from the house to as far away as the Eiffel Tower. And he was learning how to displace objects. One day, he’ll attempt to displace live subjects safely. So that the next time there’s a bank robbery, he could use his powers to get hostages out of danger in the blink of an eye.

With Vanya helping him almost every step of the way (when she was allowed to assist and/or witness his training) Five had almost forgotten about time travel.

But then Vanya got sick. 

All the treatments Reginald Hargreeves put her through seemed to only make her weaker. She could barely keep her eyes open afterwards or give his hand anything close to a squeeze.

For the first time, Five openly begged the old man to give him back his time jump capabilities. He was making a fool of himself by doing so in front of his other siblings. But Reginald Hargreeves seemed to have a heart of stone.

Five expected that. He has planned hundreds of contingencies to get Allison to undo her rumor and hopefully go far into the future to find a cure and then bring it back to Vanya.

The old man seemed two steps ahead of him though. Sending Allison off on a secret mission and out of Five’s reach. And burning all of Five’s notes on time travel to ensure that he would have to start from scratch in the off chance he somehow found a way to remember.

That didn’t deter Five though. He would use his powers even without his equations. It was better than doing nothing and watching Vanya die a slow and painful death.

But when he shared his plans with Vanya, all she did was cry. And beg him not to try it, telling him that all she wanted was for him to stay.

So what was left for Five to do but to stay with Vanya every chance he could? To let her feel not so quite alone in her final days.

He could never stand to see her cry. So long after Mom and Pogo turned in for the night, Five would bring a cot to Vanya’s new room (much bigger than her old one but also a lot more clinical). There, he would lie down to keep her company in case she had nightmares. 

That was what he told her. But they both knew that he just wanted to be there in case he had the nightmares and needed to see her still alive to calm himself and chase the bad dreams away. 

Needless to say, he didn’t get much sleep during Vanya’s last months.

It was both funny and sad that when he finally got away with acquiring a camera to take pictures with Vanya, she insisted she didn’t want her image to be taken. By that time, her beautiful hair was all gone. And there were deep shadows under her eyes.

Five had to make sure he cleaned himself thoroughly before he entered her room in fear that he might bring germs or viruses that could compromise her immune system. 

He tried his best to reassure her that he would love any photo taken of her. But no matter how many times he told her of how beautiful he found her, Vanya didn’t believe him.

“I don’t want you to remember me this way, Five.”

She had said that with such sad eyes.

And never had he wished for more time as he had in that moment. If he could give her whatever time he had, Five would do it in a heartbeat.

__________________________

In the end, Five never even had a photo of Vanya to remember her by. But that was all right. Because long before he even knew about her illness, Five had already amassed a sizable collection of Vanya memorabilia. 

His room held crevices stashed with things that belonged to Vanya. As close as he and Vanya are- were, there were some things that even Vanya didn’t know. Things that he wouldn’t tell Vanya. Things that he could no longer tell her, even if he wanted to.

Like how it was Five who would leave money under her pillow in exchange for her baby teeth, all of which he kept in a jar. It took a long time for her to stop believing in the tooth fairy.

The first time her hair went past her waist and Dad insisted she needed a haircut, Mom had shorn off the length past Vanya’s shoulders. Five witnessed the whole thing as Mom tied Vanya’s beautiful hair and used the scissors on it. While Mom and Vanya were distracted with styling Vanya’s remaining locks, Five had quietly taken the detached length and kept it in a box he hid under the floorboards.

And then there was the day that Vanya had bled from between her legs. It had happened late at night and she thought she was dying. So of course, she’d go to Five first to say goodbye. 

It took him time to realize what Vanya was saying and to get over his embarrassment, given that he was disoriented from sleep and that the location of her wound was the one place he still had reservations in looking at even in a life or death situation. 

Never one to give up, Five insisted she staunch the bleeding with what was readily on hand, which at the time was toilet paper while he woke Pogo up for help.

Needless to say, both Vanya and Five had an eye opening education that night. And Five kept the discarded paper he found carefully folded in the waste basket. He made sure to carefully seal it in a plastic bag.

For the first time, he took all of these mementos out simply to relive memories of her. Because those were all he had left of her. Five had devoted the past few months to living in the present while Vanya was still alive. 

But with her gone, Five was reluctant to think about the future. He had always assumed Vanya would be there with him. But with the knowledge that it wasn’t to be, Five wasn’t sure if he even wanted a future.

It certainly would be one way to give Dad a big “fuck you” and hopefully be reunited with Vanya in one fell swoop.

A part of him seriously contemplated it.

But then, he had a dream.

_______________________________

When Five woke up, he wasted no time gathering his things as well as his mementos of Vanya. He was already eighteen. And with Vanya gone, nothing kept him from leaving Hargreeves manor.

So that was what he did.

But not before taking one last look at Vanya’s room. Not to say goodbye to Vanya. Even at her final moments, Five hadn’t said goodbye and he wouldn’t start now.

His dream was so vivid that he still remembered it from start to finish. It was nothing at all like the ones that faded away the moment he opened his eyes. His rational side would have been horrified at the thought of following the contents of a dream. But Five had made a decision upon waking from it. And he meant to see it through.

So he took Vanya’s violin with him and stepped out of Hargreeves manor forever. Never to come back again, at least not until the world started burning.

_______________________________

It wasn’t too hard for him to get into pre-med and med school. Just as it wasn’t too hard for Five to find financial backers for his experiments. His investors were wealthy old people who wanted a new lease on life. And knowing that death was only a matter of time, they eagerly gave Five whatever he asked for. Hoping that he could solve life’s greatest mystery: how to defeat death.

They wanted both eternal life and eternal youth. They wanted options, in case death turned out not to their liking. And Five promised them he would be the man to fulfill their wishes.

Five was lying of course. He had no intention to give them what they wanted. 

The only surprise throughout the whole endeavor was how effortless it was to part the old fools with their money.

He wasn’t even a particularly good liar. But he supposed desperation and greed can make fools out of anyone.

By the time any of his investors caught on to his falsehoods, Five had already divested them of their money. Anyone who decided to “continue the acquaintance” lost their lives as well. Their bodies would never be found, not unless someone decided to look for corpses in the asteroid belt.

________________________________

His years of study and research had taken him to the absolute limits of what science can do, at least in his lifetime. Without the ability to time travel, he wouldn’t know if there could have been a more efficient way to do what he had done.

But if his dream, the one he had before he left Hargreeves manor, were realized, it wouldn’t matter. 

The fruit of his labour was in front of him.

Seeing Vanya’s clone lying on the bed, breathing in oxygen and pumping blood to the rest of her body, was a wonder. Through so much trial and error, he had finally managed to grow a healthy body that wouldn’t age or die prematurely.

He wouldn’t hold his breath for a Nobel prize though. Cloning was still illegal.

But that didn’t matter. Or it wouldn’t if the final phase of his plan succeeds. A clone was still just a copy, no matter how much it resembled the original in looks, tastes or actions.

And Five wasn’t willing to settle for a clone.

So he took out Vanya’s violin and played. He was nowhere near as good as Vanya. But that wasn’t the point of this exercise. Five had exhausted all his mementos to create this clone, this vessel for Vanya.

Now all that was left was to have Vanya, his Vanya, take control of this body. 

Five was venturing into Klaus’ domain. But with his brother too focused on his next high, Five wasn’t willing to entrust this to him. Besides, Five couldn’t risk exposing his plans to Dad, especially with Klaus’ inability to keep a secret.

In any case, they didn’t need Klaus.

Because Five didn’t need the power to commune with the dead to know that Vanya’s violin was as much a part of her as the heart she was born with. If there was anything that would anchor her to the world of the living, it would be her violin.

When the piece was done, Vanya’s eyes started to flutter. And Five was torn between excitement and dread. What if he found blank, glassy eyes staring up at him? What if Vanya was truly lost forever and all he was left with was a mere husk of who she was? What if he had created a different creature altogether?

But then she looked at him with recognition and smiled.

He smiled back and helped her sit up.

“Welcome back,” he said while managing to keep his voice from choking up.

“I’m home,” she replied as she took his hand in hers and squeezed. Her hands were as warm as he remembered.

Five wanted to enjoy this moment. But he knew it couldn’t last. His dream told him there was something they needed to do first before they could fully enjoy each other’s company again.

So he asked, “Ready to set the world on fire?”

“Yes,” she said with a smile as her eyes turned white.


End file.
